Black Solidarity Conference

A couple weekends ago, I attended the Black Solidarity Conference at Yale University. I have not yet had time to write about it, so forgive me that this is so late!

First of all, before we delve into the conference itself, let's talk about Yale. The campus is BEAUTIFUL. The architecture and the history there is breathtaking. It was crazy to think that students lived there and went to school there. I caught myself a few times wishing that I went there... and then I heard the honking horns and loud rushes of people and remembered that I loved being on my quiet, small campus back in Rhode Island.

The theme of this year's conference was "Let's Get it On: Deconstructing Sex, Sexuality, and Gender in the Black Community." The majority of the conference consisted of attending morning and afternoon sessions each day, all of which were different from one another and focused on a different topic. Each session had a speaker or a panel of speakers, and included a mediated Q&A session and an audience Q&A. As a straight woman, I really didn't think I would be able to relate to, or take anything out of this conference. I was so wrong.

The first session I attended on Friday morning was titled, "Intersectionality & Intro. on Oppression." There were three panelists, two professors and an activist. They each spoke about their views on intersectionality, which if you don't know (and I didn't know at the time) basically means overlapping factors or characteristics such as race, gender, sexuality, and so on, on an individual that puts them at a disadvantage. This session was informative for the most part, and I took away a lot of knowledge.

The second session that I went to that day was called "Spirituality and Sexuality." This was probably the session that I learned the most from, and that I enjoyed the most. The speakers at this session were both Reverends, one a older lesbian black woman, and the other a black transgender man. All my previous stereotypes and biases were erased in this session. My prior ignorance was washed over with a new perspective and view on what spirituality and sexuality really were. The session began with a mediator asking the panelists questions about the topic, and them each responding and building off of each other's responses. The panelists talked about their struggles getting to where they are as who they are, which was honestly very inspiring. One idea that stuck with me is the idea that you should take every part of you, meaning your sexuality, religion, values, and so on, everywhere you go. You should never leave behind or sacrifice a part of you to go somewhere or be a part of something. That really stuck with me, because I don't know if I've ever not sacrificed one belief or value, or a part of me when making a decision. I think for many people, including myself, it is very difficult to be comfortable and confident with EVERY part of yourself ALL of the time. I applaud the people that have achieved this, and I hope to one day achieve this myself.

The next day I attended a very interesting session called "How Good is Sex?" Now, when I tell you the place was packed, there wasn't one square foot of floor left for one more person to stand. Luckily, we got there early and were able to find seats. People who came in just on time, or even 5 minutes late, were stuck standing. The purpose of this session was to deconstruct how we look at and approach sex. The speaker, named Egypt, had us close our eyes and imagine different scenarios... and how when someone is not in the moment, it is easy to see the stupidity and poor decision making that occurs when engaging in sex. However, when in the moment, it is easy for people to forget the important things, and typically people don't want to have actual conversations with their sexual partners about their intentions. A lot of what he said made sense, and a lot of it I've heard before just in different contexts. One thing that threw everyone in attendance off is when the speaker started talking about washing feet. At first, people were literally like "Okay wtf is this dude talking about?" But, he made a valid point: if the person you are about to have sex with isn't comfortable (or is grossed out) by the idea of washing your feet, why should they be having sex with you? Now, everyone took this wayyyyy too literally... and started talking about how their man doesn't need to wash their feet to feel loved, and this and that. They completely missed the point, which was annoying but also entertaining when it came to the Q&A.

The last night there we went to a big dinner where Janet Mock spoke as the keynote. It was an inspiring speech, but a disgusting dinner. Most of us didn't finish what we were eating, and made plans to go out for food afterwards. It was disappointing, but an overall good event and great weekend. It was a learning experience, one that I will appreciate for a long time. I took a lot away from the Black Solidarity Conference and I hope to attend it again in the future.